This is my third rap, which I just got around to filming earlier this summer. I used a beat I found on Youtube made by Lion and Prime. The inspirations are the poems of Catullus, the Streets’ When You Wasn’t Famous, Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know, and my own experiences. I hope you enjoy it; I’m confident I’ve never met whomever you assume it’s about!
I recall that when we all would get in a fight
You’d hiss when pissed that I couldn’t rap or write.
But goading me you now will see is truth in all its might.
I feel like exploding, and I stay awake at night.
So face the facts, my famous friend, and feel their chilling bite
And let these humble lyrics be enough to bring to light
The sad and old forgotten tragicomic fairy tale
Once upon a time… about the heart you broke at Yale!
Lacking mostly in renown, New Haven is a craven town
With name unsung, but here you came,
famous young, and blind with fame.
I’d seen your films now and again
And guessed you messed with girls and men
But knew that no one on TV
Would ever take two looks at me,
A pauper in obscurity.
But in a clubhouse out of sight,
We both danced in a tomb that night.
Once I spied you, gone was choice!
My tongue was tied, I lost my voice.
Deaf and dumb, my head was turning
Thoughts all lost to lust and yearning
Mute and dumb, my body burning
Sweat and tears and danger christened
Both my eyes which burned and glistened
While the crowd of gawkers listened
To your laugh, which forced on me,
Do not be dismissory,
Paralysis and misery…
Symptoms, so the lonely tell us,
Of a broken heart that’s jealous.
Then you went to take a smoke
And I dared make a feeble joke
About that hapless Scottish bloke
Who just puked when he took a toke.
Funny, how I first met you
And that you laughed and teased me too
Acting cool and being flirty,
Brushing skin and talking dirty.
At the end of Tupac’s song
You took a last hit from the bong
You said, you weren’t in town for long,
I read your mind and wasn’t wrong.
I guess you saw some charm in me I couldn’t understand.
I’d never been the type before to have a one night stand.
I had no strategy thought out or any subtle plan.
You wondered at the hunger of my kiss.
Then we began.
I had no money, name, physique, or any self assurance.
But, innocence had its mystique upon this first occurrence.
Perhaps you thought my mind unique
And I could learn from your technique
And temporary solace seek
Though I was just a humble geek
And you a freak who hit your peak
We then lost track of many hours
Blazing suns gave us their powers
Then, I hoped for no more fun
Or wanted more of anyone
Yet still, you said it wasn’t done
So then began our awful run.
And I was one of many men,
And women too now and again.
My God, I wish it ended then.
Captive to some twist of fate
You’d often come to see me late.
Vulgar texts to consummate
Impossible to satiate.
Publicly, you’d play the saint,
But privately, you gave complaint.
Took on others more athletic
Found my jealousy pathetic
Said it was your right to cheat
Proved it like a bitch in heat
When I felt like I would die
You’d scoff at all the tears I’d cry
Knowing that I’d take you back
Fatal as a heart attack
Who’d have thought a Disney star
Would stoop to keying someone’s car
Or blow a brother and his twin
Or overdose on aspirin?
And who’d have thought a PhD
Would put up with such misery.
But all that burns must turn to dust
And these things end as these things must
So finally, I struggled free
Of love for your celebrity
And then at last, you must confess
That I’m the one who called you less
But thinking that this was absurd,
You had to have the final word.
And told me that you hated me,
And never even dated me.
Knowing you was all my luck
And I was just some empty fuck
Then in some paper or another,
There you were right on the cover,
In the arms of your new lover.
What a treat for all your fans!
As for me, I’ll be a man,
Forced to do all that he can
To efface you from his plans
Nor pursue you where you ran.
Jaded, cynical, unnerved,
I got just what I deserved
Should have left you at the curb,
Never crossed your path but swerved
Given all that I observed
But now my honor is preserved
And some justice will be served
With that I have the final word.