Ecstasy

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Our ecstasy was stuff as rare

and just as fleeting, so it seemed,

as whispers melted into air

which quickened beating hearts that dreamed.

 

We sensed each subtle side-effect

long months before our souls evolved,

and judged each other God’s elect

so long as earth did not revolve.

 

If only we could freeze the days

as ecstasy dammed up our tears,

we two could live within a haze,

be spared the judgment of the years.

 

We kissed for nothing but the fun.

We shared like lovers ought to.

Before we sickened with the sun

and lied like we were taught to.

 

Our tangled limbs wilt where they lie

but nature never ages.

At every summer’s start, I’ll sigh

and think of both our cages.

 

But now adventure calls for you,

and strangers call for me.

These manacles might chafe, it’s true,

but shackled, we are free.

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Drowning in You

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Old rhymes insist sublimity is this:

eternity transposed on the abyss;

the Ocean set against a band of sky;

the timbre of a mother’s lullaby;

a snowflake’s gleam destined to disappear;

a whispered prayer that nobody will hear;

and you, a mortal with immortal grace,

the splendor of your wit matched in your face.

My stalling heart quickens as it is wrenched,

while dazed I dare to stare at you unquenched,

your eyes twin torrents lethal as the sea,

as wondrous turquoise as eternity.

Drowned in your gaze, how could I help but try

to gulp life’s breath once more before I die,

and helpless sing the fatal ocean’s praise

before I perish mute beneath the waves?

Your face recalls the world I’ll never know,

when sinking I plunge fathoms down below:

your blush the russet dusk before it wanes;

your smile the dawning sun after it rains;

your lips twin rubies polished in the deep;

your hair the fur of corns stalks freshly reaped.

Horizons tie the sea and sky to earth,

but destiny unbinds my longing’s worth,

and dooms me to imagine what’s not true,

and scrawl dirges for love I never knew!

But darkest veins obscure red gemstones’ birth,

and blackest night contains Apollo’s girth.

No dawn or gloaming’s russet veil of gold

can make the scarlet shimmer long take hold.

Even the roots of cornstalks cling to hell.

Divine for now, you’ll know time’s rot as well.

The fool of fortune drooping by the hour,

with you unseen, untouched, beyond my power,

surrendering to gravity and guilt,

inert I’ll watch both of our flowers wilt.

Then sighing sink below as Cupid’s clown,

til angels’ voices wake us and we drown.

Lauterbrunnen (On Love and Sunburn)

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How could I help but mine the shapeless hours

above pied valleys cloaked in pine and flowers,

dwarfed by wrinkled amaranthine mountains,

morphed by nourishment on milk of fountains?

Cascades of vapor splashed with such a sound

you would have thought it thundered underground.

I yearned to see the russet dusk begin.

But soon the sunlight burned my face’s skin.

Then I was forced to quit the lonely height

and banish nature’s temple from my sight.

Whenever too at dinner we should meet,

so ravenous however much I eat

and drunken on the wine of every view,

I find I cannot stop glancing at you.

If I am caught, is this game lost or won?

The mystery, God knows, is half the fun.

Each time I steal a look, I know I’ve won.

But take care staring too long at the sun.

Experience has made it understood

that Nature is more beautiful than good.

Hannah Montana (The Heart You Broke At Yale)

This is my third rap, which I just got around to filming earlier this summer. I used a beat I found on Youtube made by Lion and Prime. The inspirations are the poems of Catullus, the Streets’ When You Wasn’t Famous, Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know, and my own experiences. I hope you enjoy it; I’m confident I’ve never met whomever you assume it’s about!

***

I recall that when we all would get in a fight

You’d hiss when pissed that I couldn’t rap or write.

But goading me you now will see is truth in all its might.

I feel like exploding, and I stay awake at night.

So face the facts, my famous friend, and feel their chilling bite

And let these humble lyrics be enough to bring to light

The sad and old forgotten tragicomic fairy tale

Once upon a time… about the heart you broke at Yale!

Lacking mostly in renown, New Haven is a craven town

With name unsung, but here you came,

famous young, and blind with fame.

I’d seen your films now and again

And guessed you messed with girls and men

But knew that no one on TV

Would ever take two looks at me,

A pauper in obscurity.

But in a clubhouse out of sight,

We both danced in a tomb that night.

Once I spied you, gone was choice!

My tongue was tied, I lost my voice.

Deaf and dumb, my head was turning

Thoughts all lost to lust and yearning

Mute and dumb, my body burning

Sweat and tears and danger christened

Both my eyes which burned and glistened

While the crowd of gawkers listened

To your laugh, which forced on me,

Do not be dismissory,

Paralysis and misery…

Symptoms, so the lonely tell us,

Of a broken heart that’s jealous.

Then you went to take a smoke

And I dared make a feeble joke

About that hapless Scottish bloke

Who just puked when he took a toke.

Funny, how I first met you

And that you laughed and teased me too

Acting cool and being flirty,

Brushing skin and talking dirty.

At the end of Tupac’s song

You took a last hit from the bong

You said, you weren’t in town for long,

I read your mind and wasn’t wrong.

I guess you saw some charm in me I couldn’t understand.

I’d never been the type before to have a one night stand.

I had no strategy thought out or any subtle plan.

You wondered at the hunger of my kiss.

Then we began.

I had no money, name, physique, or any self assurance.

But, innocence had its mystique upon this first occurrence.

Perhaps you thought my mind unique

And I could learn from your technique

And temporary solace seek

Though I was just a humble geek

And you a freak who hit your peak

We then lost track of many hours

Blazing suns gave us their powers

Then, I hoped for no more fun

Or wanted more of anyone

Yet still, you said it wasn’t done

So then began our awful run.

And I was one of many men,

And women too now and again.

My God, I wish it ended then.

Captive to some twist of fate

You’d often come to see me late.

Vulgar texts to consummate

Impossible to satiate.

Publicly, you’d play the saint,

But privately, you gave complaint.

Took on others more athletic

Found my jealousy pathetic

Said it was your right to cheat

Proved it like a bitch in heat

When I felt like I would die

You’d scoff at all the tears I’d cry

Knowing that I’d take you back

Fatal as a heart attack

Who’d have thought a Disney star

Would stoop to keying someone’s car

Or blow a brother and his twin

Or overdose on aspirin?

And who’d have thought a PhD

Would put up with such misery.

But all that burns must turn to dust

And these things end as these things must

So finally, I struggled free

Of love for your celebrity

And then at last, you must confess

That I’m the one who called you less

But thinking that this was absurd,

You had to have the final word.

And told me that you hated me,

And never even dated me.

Knowing you was all my luck

And I was just some empty fuck

Then in some paper or another,

There you were right on the cover,

In the arms of your new lover.

What a treat for all your fans!

As for me, I’ll be a man,

Forced to do all that he can

To efface you from his plans

Nor pursue you where you ran.

Jaded, cynical, unnerved,

I got just what I deserved

Should have left you at the curb,

Never crossed your path but swerved

Given all that I observed

But now my honor is preserved

And some justice will be served

With that I have the final word.